Sunday, July 24, 2011

It's been a while.


So much for writing a blog every month.  Hahaha.  So, I'm going to try to update everything that has been going on during the last 6 months..

3 or 4 months ago Brandon and I moved to sugarhouse.  We love it here even though everything in our appartment seems to be falling apart.  I feel safe here when I am home alone, and that is a big plus.  

I started attending skin science institute in May, and I am expecting to graduate in August 2012.  I found a new job that I really love.  It's called The Kura Door. It's a holistic Japanese day spa.  It is really beautiful, and the job itself is low stress.  I'm so busy between work and school that I don't have a single day off.  That's why day's like today make me so happy.  No work or school on hollidays=)    
Brandon is working at the sugarhouse Tsunami and working on making a video for a non-profit organization.  He is so creative and good at video editing. He is such a dedicated and hard working man.  I am so thankful for all he does. Last night we walked over to Sugarhouse park and had ourselves a little BBQ.  We made shiscabobs, you know, the skewers with lots of meat and yummy stuff.. I can't spell sometimes.. We also roasted corn on the cob and made smores.  It was such a nice and relaxing night off.  It was so fun to spend time with my honey and just relax.  Then we came home and lit off a few fireworks.  I love it when he and I have a day off together.  It is a rare thing, and I treasure the time we get together.

We made a little garden in our house with tomatoes, basil, peppers and mini pumpkins.. We are really excited to watch them grow.

 Luci curled up in her favorite spot

This week we had to take our little girl ferret to the emergency vet in the middle of the night.  We thought she was choking so we rushed her in.  The doctor did xrays and said there wasn't anything stuck in her throat, but there was a massive growth taking up 60% of her abdomin.

We took her to a specialist on friday who said it looked like her spleen, and it would be an easy fix.  So, she went in for surgery.  After the surgery the doctor called and told us they couldn't remove the growth because it wasn't the spleen like they originally thought, but lymphoma. Cancer.. I cried on the phone with the doctor when she mentioned the word euthanasia.  She also mentioned that we can treat her with chemo.  If we were to do the chemo, it would buy Luci 6 months to a year.  We can't afford it. On Saturday morning we went in and picked her up.  She was pretty out of it and has a hard time picking up her back legs. Watching her try to get around makes me sad.  We are gonna do all we can to make her comfortable and happy, and hopefully find some alternative treatment that will prolong her life.
  Cute little Ricky Playing in a blanket by himselfwhile his sister was in for surgery.
                                               
 Ricky loves his sister.  He wasn't happy spending the night without her.  He tore his cage apart while she was gone.  When we brought her home and let her roam around for a few minutes, he followed her, and everytime she got tired and layed down he would lay down with his little nose right next to hers.. Normally he would be pouncing on her and teasing her..

She is such a sweet little thing.  The day before we took her in for surgery I layed down on the couch and she curled up on my chest.  Every few minutes she would lift her head up and lick my chin.  When we were sitting at the vet's office, waiting for the doctor to come and take her in for surgery she was snuggled up in my arms, and as i was handing her over to the doctor, she lifted her head up and licked my cheek.  I am so happy I have her.  She brings me joy.  The next few months are going to be a little hard as we play the "wait and see" game with her.  We had been saving money to get married in Hawaii.  We spent it all on her surgery.  I'm just happy we had the money saved so we could get Luci taken care of.
I went to a family dinner and two of my nieces made me cute little cards.  My favorite one reads: Dear Bickie, I'm so svory your wiesl is goind to di, love cassie.  It made me laugh and almost cry at the same time.

I have so many mixed feelings right now.  I'm pretty discouraged that we no longer have anything in savings, and that we won't be able to do what we wanted to do for our wedding.  But I could not have gone to Hawaii and felt good about it had we done nothing for our little Luci.  I feel a little lost.  I don't even know where to begin planning this wedding on NO budget.  I'm thankful for my family offering to do a potluck/openhouse for us.  If anyone has ideas how to do a super cheap non-ghetto wedding, I'm open for suggestions and ideas.

I am planning to run my first race in September.  The dirty dash.  It's a mud run with obsticle courses, and I just learned that I will be doing it by myself.  I'm kind of bummed.  I want people to do it with me.  

I'm trying to work on being less stressed and manage my time more wisely.. I'm trying to find a routine that fits, and It's hard!  I've been feeling overwhelmed.  I know I am stretching myself too thin.  I am happy, and I know I'm lucky. But, I miss my family, and I miss having a life.  I only have to do this for a year.. Thats what keeps me going, knowing there is an end in sight.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

One of Many blogs to come(most likely)

As the holliday season wraps up, I feel like I have been so incredibly blessed in life. I struggled a lot in 2010, but I feel like I came out of it as a stronger person.

One of the best experiences of 2010 was living with my sister Christine and her family.  It was so kind of her and her husband to clear out a room in their house and welcome me into their home.  I absolutely loved living with the 4 kids.. I thought living with kids would make me crazy, and no doubt there were times when I would feel a little nuts, but I got close to all of the kids and I only love them more now that I've spent so much time with them.  In fact, I even offer to babysit because I miss the kids so much sometimes. 

Rachel is my pal. She is so smart, whitty and cute!




Here is Caleb.  He is such a silly kid. He is so much fun. He constantly entertained me with his unique ideas, like the time he decided we should make home made wheat thins.
Anna is the sweetest little honey.  I adore her. She has the softest most innocent voice ever.  Even when she is being a trouble maker that cute little voice could help her get away with anything.
I miss Mr. Alex.  We use to sit out on the porch swing and watch the stars come out.  He always says the cutest things.  He would point at the sky and say, "Stars hiding Becca?" I told him they come out when it gets all the way dark.  He would say, "It's half dark Becca?"


Another thing that I have struggled with for years is my health and my weight.  After a bout with some medications (for sleep) that really messed my body up I put on 90lbs in just a short period of time.  For a long time I didn't want to see anyone I know because I felt embarrassed and ashamed about the way I looked.  Growing up I put a lot of self worth on appearances.  I crossed paths with anorexia, but thats a whole other story.. Anyway, Brandon came back into my life this year (Which is by far the best thing in 2010), and he loved me despite the way I look.  He has been a huge inspiration in my life, and has helped me get motivated to get healthy again.  I dropped 38lbs in 2010 and My goal is to drop 52lbs more before my wedding. I'm really excited to get back in shape. There are so many things that I want to do that I haven't been able to do the last few years.  Like, hiking, going to the beach, running a half marathon, letting people take my picture.. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it all.  2010 has completly changed my perspective on life.  I feel like I have become much more of a positive person than I was before.  I feel happy.

 OH.. We are thinking the wedding date will be the first weekend in August.  It's not set in stone yet.. But we are starting to look into locations. If you have any ideas where we can have a reception super cheap, i'm open to suggestions.  Also, I'm still looking for a part time job to do nights and weekends to help save up for the wedding, so If you hear of anything please let me know=)


I started the year off going into web design at school, only to find out two semesters in that I hate it and I don't want a desk job for the rest of my life.  So I am taking a huge leap into something new.  On January 10th I will be starting the esthetics program at school.  I am really excited. It is something I will enjoy doing.

In 2011 I am going to try to write a blog at least once a month,
 And I am going to make an effort to do more photography.  So, if you feel like being my subject, I am always willing to shoot=)

This year a my nieces and nephew(Heidi, Erin, Josh and Emily) lost their dad.  It was so hard to see them go through what they did. I am continually amazed at the strenght they have shown through the whole ordeal.
Their dad, Dave, He was a good guy.  He lost his way a long time ago.  I felt so sad for him because I can honestly say, I know what it feels like to go through some of the dark times he was in at the end, and while I didn't struggle with alcohol addiction, I know what rock bottom feels like.  I know he is happy now where he is.  I truely feel like he was rescued from time of suffering.  I am also glad my sister left him when she did.  I love to see the happieness that her life has brought to her, and I am thankful for her other 5 kids that came along since then.


My parents do so much for me. Mom is so selfless.  I have never seen someone who can spot a person in need the way my mom can.  She comes to anyones rescue that needs help. While I am so thankful for all Mom does, I would like to see her kick back and relax.  I would love to see other people waiting on her for a change. She deserves it.   I feel like I am closer to my dad now than I have ever been. One of my resolutions for 2010 was to get closer to Dad.  I'm going to continue with that one again this year.

I have been blessed with 6 sisters in my life, all of whom are my best friends.

I am thankful for you Care.  You always been my buddy.  You have always made me feel like I am someone important.  I love spending time with you and your family. We always have a blast laughing and eating. I remember how much it meant to me when you hung out with me in California, and when you met me in Las Vegas.

Angie(Sorry.. I know you like Angela, but you have always been Ang to me). You are so sweet and kind.  You have always been one to comfort me when I was sad.  I love your sense of humor. Thank you for helping me with all my sewing projects.  One day I will get my own sewing machine. =)

Jenny, I really miss you.  I want to make an effort to call you more.  I remember when you were going to Cosmotology School and you would always bring home the neatest hair and make-up stuff.  While you were off doing your thing I would sneak into your room, sit at your vanity, do my hair and crank up your stereo. Haha.  I don't know if I ever told you that, but I knew at the time I would be dead meat if you  caught me=)

Leslie, You are super duper smart. You are so thoughtful and considerate.  You make an effort to do nice things for people, and I know from experience that your kindness heals people. I always love when we go do fun stuff like go to big lots and go to movies. My life is better because you are in it.

Chris, Thank you for letting me live with you.  I miss hanging out with you and our late night talks and our attempts to walk Buddy as he tripped us all the way around the block..  You are such a good mom.  I really look up to you in a lot of ways. 

Bridget, You are one of the funniest people alive.  I love hanging out with you and goofing off.  I remember when we were younger and we would stay up late laughing until we cried. I miss having you close so we can hang out more.

And Benj, Even though you aren't my sister, I won't leave you out.  I'm glad you are doing well with your recovery.  You are a talented person. I would love to see you put your talents to work.  I'm glad you didn't listen to dad when he said you couldn't get a dog. Duke is so sweet.

Maren, You may not be my sister, but you may as well be.  You have been my best and truest friend. You are the only friend I have gone a year and a half with out talking to, then we get together and pick right back up where we left off without skipping a beat.(Except for Brandon of course.. We went for a long time without talking too.. and now we are getting married!! woot)